02 November 2023
When running a top-notch organization such as the CdC, sometimes you have to make hard choices.
It may sadden some loyal readers to learn that we ultimately decided not run any pairing suggestions for Halloween candy and wine. The reasoning being that this is a uniquely American holiday and it would be exclusionary to place such a singular emphasis on the traditions of one country which have devolved into a capitalistic endeavor.
Also, the articles suck.
In related news from our sister publication, That’s So Brunch, joints in California are apparently charging a new “vomit fee” for those who take the bottomless bar concept a bit too liberal. Keep it on brand brunchies, but most importantly, keep it classy.
As was reported earlier by our Department of Prognostications an Shit, Lord of the Eternal Wine Fraud, Rudy Kurniawan was spotted out and about in Singapore with the well-heeled once he got the boot from the Feds in the US of A. Turns out he’s not just hanging around The Richies but also making some wines for them.
Okay, fine, why don’t we just have an “RK Elite Series” of wines and be done with it? He can blend whatever and charge whatever and people who should know better but get paid well can talk up how it’s exactly like Domaine Whatever or Château This & That and we can all be happy that Rudy is gainfully employed and like, toooootally not making fake wines for Acker Merrall anymore ;)
The only shocking thing in this article is that Maureen Downey didn't name her liberal punching bag of San Francisco as a "conflict zone" along with Northern Ireland. Some things are indeed better left in the roaring dumpster fire formerly known as Twitter.
Are you in Brooklyn and want to get that feeling like you've chain-smoked Keith Richard's still-alive corpse all night? Well, then head on down to the orange wine fair on 5 November!
Fresh up from the Revolving Re-Gift Index comes word that Jack Daniels is attempting to wean people off the singular concept that they exist solely as a whiskey bought whilst horribly jetlagged in airport Duty Free shops. But with this change of product, what will one bring to those inlaws you don't really care about now? The answer, is Ferrer Rocher and hopefully not ones filled with brussel sprouts (the legend continues!)
Stop the presses or, er… AI chatbots? Someone screwed up big time and allowed an article about drinking trends in Gen X to see the light of day. What’s next, work trends for Gen X? Stop the madness! Gen X cannot be acknowledged!
Apparently the Napa Valley wine train is one of the “worst tourist traps in world” according to a publication who knows things because their logo is just a blue circle and literally nothing else as if to say “meh” in as corporate a manner as possible.
This sly piece of work ran in the Jerusalem Post on the 27th of October and tells you why you should avoid drinking wine at night: it can stain your teeth silly! Do keep up the fine, exceedingly current work, newspaper from Jerusalem, Israel.
What time it is? Yes, it’s time for Shit Fallin’ Off Trucks: Spain Edition!
Admittedly we start with shit fallin’ off trucks up in France but it’s Spanish wine and specifically, Cava and even more specifically, Freixenet. Why was it fallin’ off trucks up in Boulou? Because French vignerons were protesting these cheap as dirt sparkling wines due to their price that undercuts French producers and not due to the taste that undercuts all that is good in the world.
Next we move on to Lleida where a whole bunch of San Miguel beer did what? It done went and felled off a damned truck too!
Then lastly we come to km 844 on the N-420 highway (stop giggling) which is otherwise known as "The point where a fucking truck overturns every other week in Priorat." where a meat truck done went and felled over. Not wine or drink, but very much in a wine region and most importantly, epic. We’re informed that no meat was harmed in the felling of said truck.
Lastly, for everyone convinced that “balsamic” is somehow a reasonable tasting note in wine, we give you, this.
Palate Cleanser
Let us make the #xpeppermuskchallenge trend like there is no tomorrow.
Until we meet again, up in the cul of the cuvée.