05 June 2021

The recently-random bits.

King Corona

In "fine beer" news, Corona has been named, the World’s Most Valuable Beer Brand. This will come as a great relief to all who worried that taste would prevail some day. In related news, urine recycling is getting easier than ever.

That one time in Golf Camp

In other news, professional golfer, Phil Mickelsen drank a $450 Napa Valley wine from the Wanamaker Trophy. To put this into more relatable terms, "Douchey white guy sport, white guy, wine drinking, big cup."

Forever Mocked

People are asking as to why Bethany Frankel's new wine, "Forever Young" is already being mocked without realizing that even if you don't know who or what Bethany Frankel is, a wine called, "Forever Young" must be mocked immediately according to UN Resolution 45-665. In related news, see these additional, "forever timeless", celebrity wine releases.

Virtually Certified

During the pandemic, a new initiative, called The Supper Share launched, allowing people to meet virtually and share in tastings led by Certified Sommeliers. While very popular and making use of the technologies available to share both wines and food in this era of diminished travel, certain male participants said they were "let down" as the format made it "difficult to fondle female participants" and they were left with a feeling that such behavior is "wrong and unwarranted" which was "a bummer".

Wine Language

Finally, we need to sit down and have a chat about the language of wine. Long Euro-centric in terms of the descriptors, it is now becoming quite clear that instead of integrating "foreign" terms such as: jackfruit, mangosteen, jicama, kylie, and bieber into the lexicon, we will quickly head towards a more simplified, "participation trophy" style of descriptors along the lines of: "nice", "tasty", "damn", and "me likey". WSET states that they will have all terms fully integrated into their text-based materials by 2050.