11 December 2021
Oreos? Oh, gloreos!
The big news in the wine world has of course been the Oreo wine by Barefoot. Designed to pair with this chocolate/crème treat, it goes to show that a more horrid sounding sentence simply can't be written... Described as "not a great wine [...] not even good" there are unconfirmed reports that this mass-market wine has "sold out" but are most likely confused sources due to the excess amounts of "palate suicides" since its release. Also of note, this Skittles bed because of course.
Booze 'n Vax
A very important question these days is how soon is too soon to have a tipple once getting vaxed? The answer, which is the one most everyone wanted to hear, is that it really doesn't matter, unless of course you've caught Covid in which case you should avoid the pleasures of spirit, not that you can usually smell it anyways...
Now is the time for the boxiest of wines
Given that the holidays are right around the corner, the articles promoting fine cheap-ass wine are popping up including this take on the classic boxed wine that's been embarrassingly popular in the United States for decades. It goes a long way to explain why someone in the Midwest created an aerator just for boxed wine which they'll be laughing about all the way to the bank.
Deck the halls with booze of Pall Mall
As an early-adopter of ship-it-to-ya bottling in the pandemic, private London wine club, 67 Pall Mall was also offering an Advent Calendar to mark the days leading up to Christmas with a not cheap, but oh-so choice selection of mini wines to see you on your way. Feel like you've missed out? Well, you have as it's the middle of December you yutz and these start on Day 1 of the month. Keep it in mind for next year as a way celebrate and/or drown the sorrows of the future 2022 to be!
Please tell me that's a wine cellar in your basement?
Proving that being a wine merchant is less red flag-y than model trains, a man lied about his model train set to his girlfriend as he was building it in a basement in the outskirts of town. Quick thinking saw him claim that he worked in the (totally not questionable) wine trade which she apparently bought. Take that train-o's!
Get yer wine club, right here!
Wondering which of the 4,322 wine clubs to give that person you don't care about this holiday season? Of course you do, which is why Wirecutter did a breakdown for you to enjoy! The big surprise was how satisfying the "Martha Stewart Wine Co. Wine Club" apparently is given that it's "A lot of bottles at the lowest price", also known as the Costco Selling Point or, CSP. They state in the review that they didn't however "...test its Wine Folly Wine Club" which should come as no surprise, shouldn't it?
To take it back?
And what is one to do if a host doesn't open the wine you brought? Subtweet, pout and get all sniffy? Swipe it when they aren't looking? Giggle because they didn't look in the bag to see that it was an oaked butter bomb Chardonnay from Napa Valley? Apparently you're suppose to "leave it" according to people who are human. This will come as great news to everyone who has been trying to pawn off the Napa bomb from the last holiday season.
The Emperor's new Martini
Apparently expensive non-alcoholic cocktails have become a pricey new thing. It should be unsurprising given that people are buying NFT wine that doesn't yet exist just because they can. Clearly, the scarcity due to shipping issues is making for madness.