17 June 2023

The recently-random bits.

We open with slow-breaking news from the Desk of Crap We Really Already Know in that the Eurozone, is officially in recession. Apparently this means it’s time to once again tighten the proverbial belts and keep an eye out for the ‘discount Camembert’ at the supermarket.

Hot off the Western Front, it appears that Californians (you know who you are) have apparently just discovered Sancerre. Watch out for the what happens when they “discover” Pouilly-Fumé and then gradually work their way down the Loire River and “discover” Muscadet. Strap in and buckle up because the Central France white wine madness is just beginning!

From the Same Ole Shit Folder we look to Russia and honestly, if I told you that antifreeze was found in cider and killed 16 people in Russia, would you tell you me you were surprised?

This gives us reason to segue into talking about Austria (if you don’t know why, their marketing team earned their money) and the fact that the Thermenregion has finally been given its own DAC. Known for Pinot Noir and St. Laurent, their unique money shot lies in white wines made from Zierfandler and Rotgipfler, the latter of which I truly did not make up.

Apparently Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Teremana Tequila now outsells fellow Celebooze, Casamigas, but what about his South Australian Shiraz that no one ever seems to mention anymore?

Continuing down the long, dark, money tunnel that is Celebooze, apparently Rod Stewart has released a new Scotch Whisky called, “Wolfie’s”. Clearly, a grand marketing gimmick was missed in not naming at it, “Da Ya Think I'm Whisky?” I speak for all of us at CdC HQ in saying that we are far, far worse off for this.

Going to London at some point in the near future? You can admit it or not, but you’d be a fool not to have a glance at the 2023 update to “London for Wine Lovers” on Jancis Robinson.

What to do if you’re the leading video streaming service that keeps losing subscribers? Well, you open a restaurant and for some reason call it “Netflix Bites”! One can only assume that the food offer will be much like their online catalog with countless options that are all ‘okay’ without anything being truly ‘good’.

For those of us in the mighty sun of Iberia, it’s mighty dry and people are a wee bit concerned about summer forest fires. Given that, the Catalan authorities have launched a ‘foc off’ campaign, (CAT) having a bit of fun with the Catalan word for ‘fire’ before we all incinerate.

It appears that

Alicia Kennedy

has decided to take a dip in the sordid waters of ‘natural wine’ although she’ll probably come out the other side without any long-term damage as she brings up the very weird issue that these wines have been equated with veganism. Which is… weird?

If you’re travelling to Spain this summer, to quote the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Don’t Panic. While they’ve long had to limit alcohol on flights going into Mallorca during the summer (you know who you are), there were concerns that they would impose limits on the ensaïmades (ES) brought on to flights going out of Mallorca. Thankfully, negotiations were had and cooler heads prevailed thus, the ensaïmades shall not be regulated! Maybe they can send the crack team that pulled that off to Hollywood to end the writer’s strike before I’m forced to watch episodes of Star Trek I’ve only seen three times before. Gonna be a long summer…

When asked how she deals with problems such as difficult colleagues, Twitter’s new CEO, Linda Yaccarino stated, “patience and wine”.

And while Yaccarino seems hellbent on running straight into the line of fire, a server in Chueca neighborhood of Madrid was apparently saved from being shot by a bullet due to a leg of jamón blocking it. (ES) Just remember dear readers, broccoli is healthy, but jamón saves lives.

As has been the unfortunate state for nearly the last year and a half, we close with news from Ukraine and people remembering Bakhmut, a city of salt and wine, a bottle of the latter I’ve saved to open once this madness ends.

Honestly, if you thought I had a bottle of salt I was waiting to open, you’re just weird… and subscribed to the absolutely right newsletter for you.

Until we meet again, up in the cul of the cuvée.