25 September 2021
Fresh-pressed hotness
Word has spread that Idris Elba, the heartthrob that crosses all borders, ages, and who knows what else, is opening a wine bar in London. Naturally the first question on any Elbanite's mind is, "Will he be at it and how often?" followed by, "Can he do Stringer Bell while he's decanting?"
Smaller. Better. Faster. Stronger.
What will definitely be filed under "No shit Sherlock" to anyone in Europe with a vineyard, it's proving to be that 2021 will be one of the smallest in recent times. There's of course the believe that this will make is a "better" vintage given that we all know it's not the size of your harvest that counts... but how you vinify it?
And to drink with that?
Questionable individuals were caught outside of Auckland, New Zealand with a large amount of Kentucky Fried Chicken. A curious turn of events but what should be of greater worry was that they had nothing to drink with all their choice chicken buckets as well as an "undisclosed quantity of fries".
You say Prosecco
Italy is at it again given that Croatia is attempting Round 2 of trying to gain a PDO certification for Prošek. The Italians have their tortellini in a wad as they claim the name, "Prošek" will confuse consumers due to its being similar to "Prosecco". Italy won their challenge back in 2013 as Croatia was just joining the EU and Italy could flex a bit more muscle. The big difference is that this time around, Croatia is now in the EU, Prošek uses none of the same grapes, it's a dessert wine, it has no bubbles, and most importantly, it generally doesn't suck.
Say Cheese!
Is birthday cheese a thing now? For all those who find office birthday cakes to be Satan incarnate, one can only hope so. That and if you're going to blow the top off the daily caloric intake for your BDay, make 'em count, with cheese.
Clawing back the somms
There are now two new Master Sommeliers in the US which means that, much like Italy's birthrate, the growth rate of Master Sommeliers is still negative. Clearly, the whole sexual harassment scandal in 2020 didn't have anything to do with this whatsoever.
That's Schmancy Wine
Apparently wine has overtaken handbags and rare whiskey to become what some say is the top luxury investment. This shouldn't come as a shock given that brand-new collectible bottles keep mysteriously "popping up" at auctions, in collections, and by-the-glass menus at your local McDonald's.
Texas terroir tastes
Finally, for anyone curious what Texas has to offer beyond antiquated lawmaking, have a look at their various wine regions. The only problem is that with just 2,000ha of planted vineyards, you still might actually have to go to Texas to find them. Now if someone could tell them to stop using Tempranillo because it isn't the hot weather variety they're looking for.