But, it tastes like battery acid?
The recently-random bits.
The CdC took some time off to get things a bit more lighthearted around here which meant having to rehire our Deep Humor Archivists to dig up the funnies. Thus we’ve learned that the largest Spanish tortilla in the world (ES) was made recently. Except! It’s not actually the largest as it has been fully and utterly invalidated due to its lack of onion. They claim this to not be important as apparently, the most essential ingredient is to "make it with care". Well obviously, as there are bucket loads of care in something made with 15,000 eggs.
Sugar is being allowed as an addition to the wines in Bordeaux for 2024 (FR) in order to “guarantee the quality” of the vintage because as we all know, only the best wines are made by dumping sacks of sugar in the tanks and chaptalizing ‘til the cows come home. Next year’s En Primeur campaign will more than likely take note of this by mentioning the “surprisingly ample aspect to the wines despite ripening issues” or whatever else will (maybe) move bottles.
In keeping up with the recent theme of bamboozling, if you're stupid enough to pay $12 US for a cookie in Australia and it sucks, then that's just how then that’s just how shit crumbles. We have clearly entered a new age of the Crap Up whether it be cookies, Willy Wonka, or Bridgerton.
For anyone who, for the last few years went to the website of DO Valdeorras in Galicia and immediately thought, "dovaldeorras.tv? Um, what's this shit?" they've launched a brand new and extremely massive upgrade worthy of these wonderful wines from Godello.
Brazen wine humorist, Tom Gilbey lays out the main problem with Cava: “It’s tastes like battery acid!” which they should really pick up for their new marketing push as, “synonymous with excellence & versatility” says about as much as a Bordelais “guarantee the quality”.
New genetic stuff studies have been carried out and now it appears that Christopher Columbus was probably from Valencia and thus Spanish, as well as Jewish. The Italians will just have to return to their main claim to fame of olive oil which is tooooootally Italian.
The United States appears poised to do something super edgy: let their postal service ship wine. This will clearly come in handy with the looming threat of tariffs on all them wines produced by illegals that keeps arriving into the country.
Wanna know why The Youths aren’t buying wine in restaurants? Apparently it’s because the offer is like, totally boring! Also boring, wine tasting notes! Wake up old people, you missed your stop!
Apparently these bottles of Tequila will not be arriving to Flavor Town. In what a was a blow to their brand Santo, owners Guy Fieri (better known for his Donkey Sauce and one-star restaurant in Times Square) and Sammy Hagar (better known for being unable to obey American speed limits) say that this apparently one million dollar theft is crushing. Of course we all need to remember that Tequila is like beer.
In what is clearly a case of, when drunk, make love, not war, a couple of soldiers that tossed a couple of drinks back introduce a helicopter to the real meaning of turbulence.
The first coffee to be grown in a Continental Climate is being trialed in Catalunya because hey, why not? Time to think outside the box when crap happens like getting a year’s worth of rain in a day.
And as is usual for any missive from the CdC, we present you with a busted up wine counterfeit ring in Italy that was selling 15,000€ bottles of wine because of course they were. Remember folks, drink cheap but not too cheap and well, but not stupid.
Oh, that's not just any fizzy plonk, it's 1976 Vintage Krug fizzy plonk at the bargain price of £26. How we may pine for 1982...
Lastly, the oldest cheese in the world has indeed been found. We turn now to our Georgian taxi driver for comment who, apparently suffering from a supra-induced hangover simply said, "Fine, I guess we can give this to you, but don’t get cocky."
Until we meet again, up in the cul of the cuvée.